What’s the easiest way to be more energized, more excited, more powerful, or more of any state? It’s easy– Go first!
When I was a kid, there was usually a race among my friends to see who could make it to the front door first. We’d yell, “Last one there is a rotten egg!” That’s not exactly the kind of “going first” I’m talking about. In order to be more powerful, you’d be on the right track by ‘racing to the front door’, but that’s not what I’m talking about here. Remember what it was like the very first time you were so engaged in your favorite activity that you were unstoppable? Maybe you were being passionate. Artists and athletes call it being in the “zone.” It could be a time you “lost yourself” in an activity.
It’s not uncommon for people to ask me consciously be in the “zone.” Or how to consciously use their NLP skills. Or how to consciously be more persuasive, or powerful. What they are asking is to be conscious of something that requires unconscious effort. You see, if someone wants to be more aware of being powerful (they usually claim this is so they can do it at will), it means they are going to be _thinking_ about being powerful.
The thing is, doing something exquisitely well requires doing it… not thinking about doing it, or being conscious of it. It’s like a good friend of mine says, “Either you are, or you’re not. But thinking about it, is not DOING it!”
Another common response upon my telling people that they must go first in order to be more creative (or powerful), is to complain that they don’t know how to _just_ go into a state. Or to just go first. So, I ask them whether they were conscious of being powerful the last time they were feeling very powerful. It’s fun to watch as their posture and facial expression shifts to the typical look of the particular state. As we both smile, this usually makes them stop wanting to argue about how difficult it is to just get into a particular state.
I once spoke to a salesperson who could never get herself to feel confident about her products when she was with customers. She couldn’t figure it out… when she was alone, or talking about her products to friends and family, it was easy for her to confidently and proudly “push” her goods. But as soon as she contacted a potential customer, or even a past client, she’d lose his belief in her products. She said she kept getting in her own way by thinking about thinking about selling with confidence. But the more she tried, the more she wasn’t. Of course, it turned out she had a habit of thinking about thinking about lots of things. And that’s not exactly what I call going first. In order for her to change this, I taught her to jump in the driver’s seat, and go first. And remember, that’s easier done than said. So, next time you want to be more confident, more excited, more creative, more of anything… just go for the ride. Have some fun.
By the way, where do you go when you lose yourself in a pleasurable activity?