I’ve been thinking about my ex-husband a lot over the past 4 months. We have been divorced for quite a few years…during which time we have had a wonderful friendship (actually he made me director of his company a few years back). Why now all of a sudden am I thinking about him so much? Are we meant to be together after all?
–“Destiny and Desire”
Dear Destiny, darling,
Who said you and your former husband were ever apart? There is only One, darling, only One. For desire to appear, there has to be a sense of “other,” a sense of two. And there is only One!
What you are experiencing is called “duality” by the great Advaitins, including my own dear guru, Sri Sri Sri Mahatma Schmattaji of Mysore. The idea that there is someone other than you, other than the One that you are also part of, is a trick that your mind plays on you. If you look at it this way, a sense of “other” is a game, it can be a lot of fun. But without this awareness, we think we are not That, and we suffer.
This is not to say, Sugar, that you should not feel love or longing for your ex, or that you should not think of him. You made a life together, perhaps made children? Made friends. Made a business. That’s not for nothing. I didn’t leave her husband just because she got enlightened. I mean, he’s pretty cute! I am married to God now, but my husband is also God. So are you, so is your ex. God is love, and you love your ex, you think about being with him — that’s nice! You love your ex, therefore you love God, another name for All That Is. What’s bad?
Tatteleh, learn to go with the flow. This man may not share a bed with you but he has never left you nor you him. If you are meant to be together in the physical realm it will happen; if not, it’s not what you need right now. So, try to be happy with your warm thoughts and feelings, they are a reflection of your own wonderfulness. And should another aspect of God show up at your door with a dozen roses…enjoy!
Sincere seekers, write to us at firstname.lastname@example.org. We w’ll try to answer your questions here, but the true answer is in your heart, so look within!