An amusing look at an alternative method of card reading, using Trivial Pursuit cards. Although this article is very much tongue-in-cheek, it serves as an example to illustrate the points made in the article

Every Wednesday evening I go to a Psychic Club, where we read everything from treasured objects to flower petals. One of our members announced that it was possible to obtain psychic messages from just about ANYTHING, and proceeded to prove this by giving an amusing, tongue-in-cheek (but surprisingly accurate) reading for another member from, of all things, the patterns on a tablecloth and the condiment set sitting on top of it.

I therefore decided to try some readings using Trivial Pursuit cards and, as with the tablecloth, the results were amazingly accurate. In other words, it really doesn’t matter what you use, because the messages come through just the same regardless.

In case anyone is interested in reading Trivial Pursuit cards, I will give a brief description of how it is done, although you can of course adapt it any way you wish and you may prefer just to read the table-cloth.

First of all, ask your subject to choose six cards at random and place them in the order they wish them to be read. Then, starting with the first card, look at the question and answer for the top subject, which should be the geography (blue) question (this is the most boring one and the hardest to get anything interesting out of, so it is just as well it is the first and therefore over with quickly).

At random, I have chosen the question “What’s the largest Scandinavian country?”, the answer being “Sweden”. We can therefore tell our subject that he or she is either going to visit Sweden, fall madly in love with a Swedish person, or eat a lot of swedes. Perhaps this card is telling us that our subject is a vegetarian.

We now go to the second card, Entertainment (pink) where we read the question “Who grouched: “This is another fine mess you’ve gotten me into’?”, the answer of course being “Oliver Hardy”. We can infer quite a lot from this (oh yes we can). First of all, the subject is quite obviously someone who is always getting into a mess (and they are probably a messy person, too). They may or may not be called Oliver (my youngest son’s name, incidentally), but they are probably quite a hardy sort of person. They could also be a touch overweight, but best not mention that bit.

The third card leads us to the History (yellow) question, which in this case is “Who can sue the Queen?”, to which we receive the answer “No-one”. This would be an excellent omen for anyone involved in any form of litigation, but even for someone who isn’t it is still a good card, because you can tell them that they aren’t likely to be involved in any in the future, either. Most people would probably appreciate knowing this. Then again, it could also mean that they haven’t a hope in hell’s chance of suing anyone successfully themselves. Maybe the forthcoming cards will shed some light on the matter.

Next in line is the Literature (brown) question, which should be on the fourth card you look at (if it isn’t go back, you have done something wrong somewhere). Our question today is “What did the three little kittens lose?” and our answer is “Their mittens”. Well, what can we infer from this? That the subject is going to lose his or her mittens? No, far too obvious. Nevertheless, they are likely to lose something. The only trouble is, we have no idea what, because unfortunately the TP cards do not go into very much detail.

Our penultimate card, the fifth, leads us to the Science & Nature (green) section, where we are faced with the question “What planet is best-known as both the morning and the evening star?” – answer, “Venus”. We can safely say then, that as Venus is known as the ‘Love Planet’, our subject is going to find true love very soon, probably in either the morning or the evening, and quite possibly with a film or pop star.

Finally, we come to the Sport & Leisure (orange) card, which poses the question “What suspect in the game of Cluedo holds a military rank?” – the obvious answer being “Colonel Mustard” (Why do I never get questions as easy as this when I play Trivial Pursuit?). Now, here is another one with quite a lot of information. For starters, it would seem that our subject is going to be suspected of murder, possibly the murder of a military gentleman, or it could be that they are going to join the army and then be accused of murdering their colonel, or perhaps they simply like putting mustard on their swede.

To conclude, what reading can we give our subject? Well, they are going to meet a Scandinavian person (who may or may not be called Oliver) whilst in a vegetarian restaurant eating swede, which they have garnished with mustard. Unfortunately, this meal will be a bit messy and as a result they will get very annoyed and murder a distinguished colonel (who may or may not be called Oliver) who is sitting at the next table. Sadly, the colonel is so high-up that it is impossible to win against him in litigation, so our subject is doomed to lose their freedom, or even their life.

However, this won’t matter because our subject will fall madly in love with the afore-mentioned Swedish person (who, as we discussed earlier, may or may not be called Oliver) and, because they are a star, and therefore very rich, they will manage to bribe the judge (who may or may not be called Oliver) and our subject will as a result live happily ever after in exile in Sweden, knitting mittens for stray cats (one or all of whom may or may not be called Oliver).

So, you see, it is possible to use your psychic ability to read ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING. All it takes is a little imagination. Try it and see!